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Feeling Stuck

Brick Wall

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Feeling stuck feels frustrating. Say that five times fast!

We feel blocked when we’re stuck. Like a red brick wall stands solidly in front of us. Or like we can only choose Door A or Door B.

I can either do X or Y.

Binary Thinking

More than anything, when we’re stuck, we believe we lack choice(s). We’ve adopted a scarcity mindset in which binary thinking reigns supreme. “I can either do X or Y.” We often don’t realize we’ve taken on a rigid perspective unless

  • someone (courageously) points it out to us OR
  • we sense the mounting frustration and are pushed to do something about it.

Getting stuck often happens just before we enter a new stage of growth. We feel inauthentic, like we’ve grown out of our skin, but we don’t know what our new skin will look like yet. I remember facing this around the time I turned 40 – dissatisfied with HR but not knowing what I wanted next. Did project management for a few years thinking that was the ticket. It wasn’t. I had to go back to the basics – figure out who I was and what I wanted. For me, that started with identifying what I didn’t want.

Not living our true selves or realizing our true potential feels limiting, as if we’ve put boundaries on our growth. That’s why we’re so frustrated. But take heart. Experiencing frustration is necessary since it guides you forward. No one likes that emotion. To remove it, you need to get unstuck.

Repeating the same patterns but expecting a different result

Ignoring your frustration doesn’t make it go away. Eventually, frustration devolves to disappointment, blame, anger, and, potentially, unworthiness. Recall the definition of insanity often attributed to Einstein: “Repeating the same patterns but expecting a different result.” This is the real impact of being stuck and its consequence is limited growth. We feel disconnected between our inner (private) and outer (public) selves. It’s another way of saying we are working against our values, as discussed in What is Coaching.

Getting Unstuck

Recognize that when you’re stuck in one area, you can get unstuck by another. We’ve talked about this before – mind, body, heart, and spirit. Consider that what you’re trying to do is gain more perspectives on your subject. By seeing things in many ways, we move away from binary thinking and realize once again that we have choices.

Goal = Gain more perspectives

Next Steps

Integrating mind, body, heart, and spirit makes becoming unstuck easier. These avenues are meant to work in tandem not exclusively. Each supports the other, like the four legs of a chair on which we sit.

Trust that you have the answers you need – your mind, body, heart, and spirit are enough. You don’t need a textbook or guru.

Identify your core values. They’ll help you see your authentic self.

Finally, reconnect to your purpose in life as it will propel you to action. As humans, we love being in action mode.

Click below for an infographic that visually summarizes the content of this blog.

Header Photo by Keenan Sultanik on Unsplash, Doors Photo by Robert Anasch on Unsplash, Pattern Photo by Claudio Schwarz on Unsplash

Combining being (who you are) with doing (what you do) creates the balance we seek in life. When we balance ourselves, we can sway with the wind without getting knocked off course.

 

You have to be open minded in order to grow. The coaching that Laura gave me opened my eyes to what and how I was doing things and allowed me to see the bigger picture. I am not done yet but I already see the changes in my everyday life.

MM

I think coaching is a great way to help you clear your mind when you get stuck with overwhelming situations or when stepping into changes in your life.

MO

Coaching is life changing. It pushes you outside your comfort zone and challenges your perspectives.  It is highly motivating and the exercises and techniques used are both fun and informative.  I think the main benefits of coaching are to see yourself, others and the world more clearly.  I think coaching is valuable to anyone regardless of where you are in your life or career.

LE

I honestly never thought I’d need a coach. I thought coaching was for CEOs and industry VIPs. I didn’t think it was for the “little guys” (i.e. me). Now, I’m of the belief that everyone – yes, EVERYONE – needs a coach. Coaching has really benefitted me and I’m so grateful to have had that time with Laura. It’s changed my life!

VB

Laura is very patient. She took the time to understand what was causing me to be stuck where I am today and help me build a better vision so I can continue to grow.

MM

I think Laura’s coaching was what I had been waiting for. Laura was so approachable, kind, and open. Her willingness to help and support made a difference for me. I found in her coaching new strategies, ideas, and perspectives that I could incorporate into my goals and objectives that I didn’t see before.

MO

Laura is an incredibly intuitive, positive and caring coach. Her techniques helped me recognize both my strengths and areas I might want to explore as I embark on the next chapter of my career. The exercises she employed were instrumental in providing self perspective and challenging my frames of reference.

LE

Laura is a natural coach. Her probing and compassionate questions helped me learn about myself: my value system, interests, goals and strengths.

LM

Coaching sessions with Laura gave me new perspectives on how to process specific feelings and situations in life.  She showed me how to sit with my emotions, acknowledge them, and then use visualization strategies to move through them.  I now feel more confident and in control of how I choose to walk through life.

CP

From the beginning, Laura put me at ease, creating a safe, open space for me to talk and share freely without fear of judgement. I loved the variety of approaches she used depending on the topic we were working on and it was fun being able to try out things I wouldn’t have considered before! With Laura’s coaching, I substantially grew my confidence in the workplace, overcame fears, dealt with issues I’d been carrying around for many years and, most importantly, learned to value myself and define a path forward into the future.

AG

Laura’s coaching was a breath of fresh air and EXACTLY what I needed at that point of my life. I didn’t realize how impactful coaching was going to be, but by the end of the sessions together, I left feeling refreshed, inspired and genuinely curious about what my future held for me. Because of Laura and her coaching, I believe I became a better person – someone who is more open-minded, someone with a clearer focus, and someone who is willing to explore opportunities and possibilities far more than I ever did before.

VB

I engaged Laura for coaching as I took on an expanded role leading an asset management company in Canada. As a female, I knew I would be a role model and had high expectations of myself. I was feeling overwhelmed and anxious.

In our first few coaching sessions we worked through exercises that allowed me to reflect on my purpose, leadership style and what mattered most to me. I continue to be grounded by the clarity I achieve in my coaching sessions – allowing me to be resilient and confident when challenges came my way.

OS