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Getting Out of Joint

It happened New Year’s Day. I was doing a lunge in my yoga class and felt my left hip click twice, moving it out of joint. I remember feeling surprised because that rarely happens, but I finished my class. Later that evening the pain set in. By the next morning, I couldn’t lift my left leg without scooping my hands under my thigh. My hip flexor really hurt.

I felt angry at my body for letting me down. Didn’t it know I wanted to ski and go hiking? I got advice from friends and family: ice it, don’t exercise, exercise, quit yoga altogether. Google told me I had weak glutes. My osteopath said it was the result of my loose hips and underactive core.

To sum up, I felt like my body misbehaved and I had to bring it in line. I was in charge of my body, not the other way around. And when I say “I” what I really mean is, “my mind.” So much for connecting mind, body, heart, and spirit. In that moment of vulnerability, I wanted control and naturally my mind – and my saboteurs – stepped up.

Saboteurs Want to Be Right

  • Judge Judy – This is your fault. You should have strengthened your mid-section more instead of over-working your hip flexors.
  • Barbie (perfectionist) – Your body is falling apart. This is what happens as you grow older.
  • Time Gremlin – You don’t have time for this injury. Move on!

Unfortunately, saboteurs never go away, either in good times or bad. The trick to understanding them is knowing their inner talk never ceases. In fact, if you have a change of heart, saboteurs will try a different tack just to keep your mind engaged in endless debate. As I’ve said before in this newsletter, saboteurs don’t want resolution; they just want to be right.

Recognizing Saboteurs

Here’s what I did. It started with me recognizing those saboteurs talking. The first one I recognized was the Time Gremlin. I felt extremely frustrated I couldn’t do my regular exercise and insisted on doing a long walk plus yoga one day which worsened my hip. Then Judge Judy emerged, when I began blaming myself for my injury. At that point, I could identify the perfectionist, Barbie, detailing to me my imperfect body.

Responding to Saboteurs

I had the tools to de-hook from my saboteurs’ provocations:

  1. Banish Judgement
  2. Shift the narrative from Victim to Heroine
  3. Be kind to myself – applying The Platinum Rule

Frankly, I used all three of these tools to adjust my perspective on my injury.

Eventually I asked myself, How would I treat a friend with the same injury?  It’s obvious to say but I would never treat a friend the way I treated myself.  That’s the destructiveness inherent in saboteurs and why it’s so important to recognize them.

Does any of this sound familiar to you? My purpose in writing this newsletter is to share the tools I’ve applied in my own life using a very real, very recent life experience. Getting out of joint reminded me how to get aligned again.

Life Happens

I’ve learned it’s not about what happens to you but how you respond to it. Just because I had an initial negative reaction didn’t mean I was a failure as a person (which is what Barbie would tell me). Once I gave myself the time to respond, I could be less judgemental toward myself and bring myself back to a more loving state.

Header Photo Photo by Alex Shaw on Unsplash, Barbie Photo by Elena Mishlanova on Unsplash

The best advice is usually the simplest: be kind. Start with yourself. Ain’t that the truth.

You have to be open minded in order to grow. The coaching that Laura gave me opened my eyes to what and how I was doing things and allowed me to see the bigger picture. I am not done yet but I already see the changes in my everyday life.

MM

I think coaching is a great way to help you clear your mind when you get stuck with overwhelming situations or when stepping into changes in your life.

MO

Coaching is life changing. It pushes you outside your comfort zone and challenges your perspectives.  It is highly motivating and the exercises and techniques used are both fun and informative.  I think the main benefits of coaching are to see yourself, others and the world more clearly.  I think coaching is valuable to anyone regardless of where you are in your life or career.

LE

I honestly never thought I’d need a coach. I thought coaching was for CEOs and industry VIPs. I didn’t think it was for the “little guys” (i.e. me). Now, I’m of the belief that everyone – yes, EVERYONE – needs a coach. Coaching has really benefitted me and I’m so grateful to have had that time with Laura. It’s changed my life!

VB

Laura is very patient. She took the time to understand what was causing me to be stuck where I am today and help me build a better vision so I can continue to grow.

MM

I think Laura’s coaching was what I had been waiting for. Laura was so approachable, kind, and open. Her willingness to help and support made a difference for me. I found in her coaching new strategies, ideas, and perspectives that I could incorporate into my goals and objectives that I didn’t see before.

MO

Laura is an incredibly intuitive, positive and caring coach. Her techniques helped me recognize both my strengths and areas I might want to explore as I embark on the next chapter of my career. The exercises she employed were instrumental in providing self perspective and challenging my frames of reference.

LE

Laura is a natural coach. Her probing and compassionate questions helped me learn about myself: my value system, interests, goals and strengths.

LM

Coaching sessions with Laura gave me new perspectives on how to process specific feelings and situations in life.  She showed me how to sit with my emotions, acknowledge them, and then use visualization strategies to move through them.  I now feel more confident and in control of how I choose to walk through life.

CP

From the beginning, Laura put me at ease, creating a safe, open space for me to talk and share freely without fear of judgement. I loved the variety of approaches she used depending on the topic we were working on and it was fun being able to try out things I wouldn’t have considered before! With Laura’s coaching, I substantially grew my confidence in the workplace, overcame fears, dealt with issues I’d been carrying around for many years and, most importantly, learned to value myself and define a path forward into the future.

AG

Laura’s coaching was a breath of fresh air and EXACTLY what I needed at that point of my life. I didn’t realize how impactful coaching was going to be, but by the end of the sessions together, I left feeling refreshed, inspired and genuinely curious about what my future held for me. Because of Laura and her coaching, I believe I became a better person – someone who is more open-minded, someone with a clearer focus, and someone who is willing to explore opportunities and possibilities far more than I ever did before.

VB

I engaged Laura for coaching as I took on an expanded role leading an asset management company in Canada. As a female, I knew I would be a role model and had high expectations of myself. I was feeling overwhelmed and anxious.

In our first few coaching sessions we worked through exercises that allowed me to reflect on my purpose, leadership style and what mattered most to me. I continue to be grounded by the clarity I achieve in my coaching sessions – allowing me to be resilient and confident when challenges came my way.

OS