Drinking the Kool-Aid

Career Focus
24 September 2023

Drinking the Kool-Aid. How often have you heard this phrase used, especially in relation to workplace culture.

You drink the Kool-Aid:

When you accept how things get done around here may be different from what’s stated aloud;
When you align your behaviour with others’ to effect an outcome;
By adopting the beliefs of your tribe.

Yet, today’s Life fully loved isn’t about what happens when you drink the Kool-Aid as much as what happens when you don’t. The Kool-Aid I’m discussing today is red-flavoured. I call it love.

You may wonder what love has to do with Kool-Aid. A lot, as a matter of fact.

In my coaching practice, I meet all sorts of great people in various stages of life. I meet younger people starting out their careers, mid-careerists figuring out their next career move, and later-career people, usually in leadership roles, looking for ways to maximize their impact.

The through line is that they are all good, lovable people. But they don’t always think so. They haven’t drunk the Kool-Aid of self-love.

Role of Self-Awareness

Self-awareness starts with a willingness to look inward. Typically, the journey begins when an event trips you up and you find yourself facing a wall.

You’ve lost sight of your inner compass, which previously guided you knowingly or without conscious awareness, and that inner guidance system is letting you know that it wants to play a bigger role in your life through its sudden absence.

Discovery

Coaching starts with self-discovery to develop deeper self-awareness. It involves understanding your values, which motivate you intrinsically and lead to behaviours you regularly demonstrate, i.e. habits.

Without identifying your values, you can’t navigate properly. It’s like steering a ship with missing rudders. You may keep moving but you’re not getting anywhere.

You also need to know your saboteurs, that is, your limiting beliefs or your “fear patterns.” Without recognizing how you naturally react when you feel stress, you can’t find constructive ways to respond appropriately. Your saboteurs are good at triggering and keeping you in a negative loop cycle.

Of course, there are other elements to knowing yourself including your strengths, your skills, how you influence others, your need for social interaction, your drive for stability, and how you conform to rules and structure.

However, here’s the part I want you to know most.

At your core, you are one thing and one thing only.

Love.

You are loved, unconditionally. You are unconditionally lovable. There’s no, “You will be lovable when…” or “You’re not lovable because…”

Judging Love

It upsets me how many people don’t love themselves or who love themselves conditionally. The consequence is that successful progress in coaching remains limited. I can help you gain insight, share professional resources, and build new habits, but it only works from a baseline of loving yourself.

I’m not talking about self-confidence or even self-acceptance. It’s simply a willingness to acknowledge a universal truth that you are loved unconditionally.

Love as Cornerstone

Developing greater self-awareness begins the larger work of self-actualization. With love, you construct its cornerstone.

Then you acquire tools to build on your foundation, meaning ways to respond to your saboteurs and see from new perspectives. You lead a life fully loved based on your values.

Love takes many names: Leader Within, Sage, God, Inner Wisdom. Whatever form it takes, I believe drinking the Kool-Aid means accepting you are loved.

By loving yourself, you will accomplish anything you choose to focus your attention on. Don’t believe me? Try it.

Header Photo by Jessica Lewis on Unsplash

You have to be open minded in order to grow. The coaching that Laura gave me opened my eyes to what and how I was doing things and allowed me to see the bigger picture. I am not done yet but I already see the changes in my everyday life.
MM

I think coaching is a great way to help you clear your mind when you get stuck with overwhelming situations or when stepping into changes in your life.
MO

Coaching is life changing. It pushes you outside your comfort zone and challenges your perspectives. It is highly motivating and the exercises and techniques used are both fun and informative. I think the main benefits of coaching are to see yourself, others and the world more clearly. I think coaching is valuable to anyone regardless of where you are in your life or career.
LE

I honestly never thought I’d need a coach. I thought coaching was for CEOs and industry VIPs. I didn’t think it was for the “little guys” (i.e. me). Now, I’m of the belief that everyone – yes, EVERYONE – needs a coach. Coaching has really benefitted me and I’m so grateful to have had that time with Laura. It’s changed my life!
VB

Laura is very patient. She took the time to understand what was causing me to be stuck where I am today and help me build a better vision so I can continue to grow.
MM

I think Laura’s coaching was what I had been waiting for. Laura was so approachable, kind, and open. Her willingness to help and support made a difference for me. I found in her coaching new strategies, ideas, and perspectives that I could incorporate into my goals and objectives that I didn’t see before.
MO

Laura is an incredibly intuitive, positive and caring coach. Her techniques helped me recognize both my strengths and areas I might want to explore as I embark on the next chapter of my career. The exercises she employed were instrumental in providing self perspective and challenging my frames of reference.
LE

Laura is a natural coach. Her probing and compassionate questions helped me learn about myself: my value system, interests, goals and strengths.
LM

Coaching sessions with Laura gave me new perspectives on how to process specific feelings and situations in life. She showed me how to sit with my emotions, acknowledge them, and then use visualization strategies to move through them. I now feel more confident and in control of how I choose to walk through life.
CP

From the beginning, Laura put me at ease, creating a safe, open space for me to talk and share freely without fear of judgement. I loved the variety of approaches she used depending on the topic we were working on and it was fun being able to try out things I wouldn’t have considered before! With Laura’s coaching, I substantially grew my confidence in the workplace, overcame fears, dealt with issues I’d been carrying around for many years and, most importantly, learned to value myself and define a path forward into the future.
AG

Laura’s coaching was a breath of fresh air and EXACTLY what I needed at that point of my life. I didn’t realize how impactful coaching was going to be, but by the end of the sessions together, I left feeling refreshed, inspired and genuinely curious about what my future held for me. Because of Laura and her coaching, I believe I became a better person – someone who is more open-minded, someone with a clearer focus, and someone who is willing to explore opportunities and possibilities far more than I ever did before.
VB

I engaged Laura for coaching as I took on an expanded role leading an asset management company in Canada. As a female, I knew I would be a role model and had high expectations of myself. I was feeling overwhelmed and anxious.

In our first few coaching sessions we worked through exercises that allowed me to reflect on my purpose, leadership style and what mattered most to me. I continue to be grounded by the clarity I achieve in my coaching sessions – allowing me to be resilient and confident when challenges came my way.
OS