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Broken Record Player

Record Player

Frank Sinatra crooned, “You make me feel so young.” After months of living with a broken record player (literal not figurative!), it sounded heavenly. What a voice. I love when he sings,

The moment that you speak
I want to go play hide and seek
I wanna go and bounce the moon
Just like a toy balloon

Punch Balloon

Bouncing the moon. Like a toy balloon. A visual representation of resilience. I imagine those punch balloons from the ‘80s that took ages to fill with air. But once they were filled, the weight of them felt satisfying in a way that helium balloons did not.

Turns out our record player was almost fully functional. Just missing one piece: the pre-amplifier. What’s that, you wonder?

A preamp converts a weak electrical signal into a stronger one capable of noise tolerance, strong enough for further processing, or for sending sound to an amplifier/loudspeaker. “Without this, the final signal would be noisy or distorted.” Thank you, Wikipedia.

Frank and our broken record player taught me about resilience.

Noise Tolerance

We often hear about increasing our “windows of tolerance.”  It’s about finding the zone in which we function most effectively. In that zone, we are resilient. We respond to circumstances as they arise appropriately, using skills from our toolbox. We feel the natural rise and fall of our emotions and can tolerate them, staying within the zone.

Think of making dinner on a hot stove with the TV on nearby, family members asking for x or y, and then the phone ringing. For some, the phone ringing will take us outside the window of tolerance. For others, we handle the additional input with equanimity.

Resilience means widening our windows of (noise) tolerance. It’s about knowing we have a choice in how we respond to our circumstances.

Further Processing

Resilience involves processing our emotions and circumstances fittingly. Once processed, we bounce back like a toy balloon.

A good friend told me, “Laura, the only way out is through.” Ain’t that the truth. We spend a lot of time avoiding what we don’t want to think, see, or feel. By distracting ourselves, we think we’re fine. It’s no big deal.

And that works … until it doesn’t, as I heard Chelsea Handler say on a Smartless podcast last year.

The capacity to sit with an emotion or circumstance lets us respond instead of react.  Resilience lives in response not reaction.

Loudspeaker

It’s only by looking within and identifying our own resilience that we use our loudspeaker effectively. Otherwise, it’s empty air. Listeners sense the qualitative difference when speakers know themselves.

Until I develop my own resilience, meaning awareness of my circumstances, my instinctive responses, and emotional reactions, I don’t own my microphone. At best, I’m a mouthpiece. At worst, I add distortion to the mix.

Distortion

Fixing the broken record player with the preamp meant getting rid of the distortion. Resilience performs the same function – gets rid of our distortion by providing clarity. Then we move from problem mode to solution mode. When we ask clear questions, we get clear answers.

The final words of Frank sang through the stereo:

And even when I’m old and gray
I’m going to feel the way I do today
‘Cause you, you make me feel so young

Sinatra connects youth with feeling good. While I don’t think any age has a lock on feeling good, I agree with his intent. We feel buoyant – resilient – when we’re young. That’s a feeling to savour. So go ahead and bounce the moon, just like a toy balloon.

Photo by Ryan Arnst on Unsplash, Punch Balloon, Wikipedia

You have to be open minded in order to grow. The coaching that Laura gave me opened my eyes to what and how I was doing things and allowed me to see the bigger picture. I am not done yet but I already see the changes in my everyday life.

MM

I think coaching is a great way to help you clear your mind when you get stuck with overwhelming situations or when stepping into changes in your life.

MO

Coaching is life changing. It pushes you outside your comfort zone and challenges your perspectives.  It is highly motivating and the exercises and techniques used are both fun and informative.  I think the main benefits of coaching are to see yourself, others and the world more clearly.  I think coaching is valuable to anyone regardless of where you are in your life or career.

LE

I honestly never thought I’d need a coach. I thought coaching was for CEOs and industry VIPs. I didn’t think it was for the “little guys” (i.e. me). Now, I’m of the belief that everyone – yes, EVERYONE – needs a coach. Coaching has really benefitted me and I’m so grateful to have had that time with Laura. It’s changed my life!

VB

Laura is very patient. She took the time to understand what was causing me to be stuck where I am today and help me build a better vision so I can continue to grow.

MM

I think Laura’s coaching was what I had been waiting for. Laura was so approachable, kind, and open. Her willingness to help and support made a difference for me. I found in her coaching new strategies, ideas, and perspectives that I could incorporate into my goals and objectives that I didn’t see before.

MO

Laura is an incredibly intuitive, positive and caring coach. Her techniques helped me recognize both my strengths and areas I might want to explore as I embark on the next chapter of my career. The exercises she employed were instrumental in providing self perspective and challenging my frames of reference.

LE

Laura is a natural coach. Her probing and compassionate questions helped me learn about myself: my value system, interests, goals and strengths.

LM

Coaching sessions with Laura gave me new perspectives on how to process specific feelings and situations in life.  She showed me how to sit with my emotions, acknowledge them, and then use visualization strategies to move through them.  I now feel more confident and in control of how I choose to walk through life.

CP

From the beginning, Laura put me at ease, creating a safe, open space for me to talk and share freely without fear of judgement. I loved the variety of approaches she used depending on the topic we were working on and it was fun being able to try out things I wouldn’t have considered before! With Laura’s coaching, I substantially grew my confidence in the workplace, overcame fears, dealt with issues I’d been carrying around for many years and, most importantly, learned to value myself and define a path forward into the future.

AG

Laura’s coaching was a breath of fresh air and EXACTLY what I needed at that point of my life. I didn’t realize how impactful coaching was going to be, but by the end of the sessions together, I left feeling refreshed, inspired and genuinely curious about what my future held for me. Because of Laura and her coaching, I believe I became a better person – someone who is more open-minded, someone with a clearer focus, and someone who is willing to explore opportunities and possibilities far more than I ever did before.

VB

I engaged Laura for coaching as I took on an expanded role leading an asset management company in Canada. As a female, I knew I would be a role model and had high expectations of myself. I was feeling overwhelmed and anxious.

In our first few coaching sessions we worked through exercises that allowed me to reflect on my purpose, leadership style and what mattered most to me. I continue to be grounded by the clarity I achieve in my coaching sessions – allowing me to be resilient and confident when challenges came my way.

OS