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Rethinking Imposter Syndrome

Surprised to hear me say that?

Truth is, it ebbs and flows like ocean tides.

And the best response to the ocean tides of Imposter Syndrome is to learn how to surf the waves.

Here’s how.

Change as Catalyst

Imposter Syndrome creeps up during times of upheaval. When you are facing change and feel uncomfortable, that’s when it sets in. It doesn’t matter if you actively pursue it or passively resist it. Bottom line: change stirs up The Imposter.

Recent clients have brought up Imposter Syndrome, so I thought it made sense to explore this topic for a third time. For my previous thoughts on it, click here and here.

Emotional Waves

Ram Dass describes waves as emotions. Let’s play with this concept.

Visualize yourself surfing a wave of emotion instead of finding yourself in the wave. Feels different, doesn’t it? One feels powerful, the other does not.

Ride with me a moment. The emotion behind Imposter Syndrome is “not enough.” It’s the feeling that there’s something missing between where I am right now and where I should be. That gap makes you anxious and stressed. In other words, your perception of the gap is negative.

The Emotional Gap

Conversely, you can choose to see the gap as an opportunity. In How to Reframe Nerves as Anticipation, I explored reframing nerves as excitement instead of anxiety. Physiologically, the nervous system cannot distinguish between the two. Excitement and anxiety are felt the same way.

Thus, a simple reframing can let you see the gap positively.

Be a Surfer

When The Imposter takes over the nervous system, it’s fair to say you feel negatively.

What you want to do is shift out of that negative emotion.

  1. You can do that through PQ reps.
  2. You can also do it by surfing the wave.

As you surf the wave of your emotion, allow yourself to detach from the emotion itself.

Remember, the wave is the emotion.

You are not the wave.

You are the surfer riding the wave.

Your mission is to separate you, that is your inner being or inviolate Self, from your emotions.

Your emotions are important. They are your inner guidance system alerting you to pay attention. The key is to let your emotion rise up and then fall down, just as waves do.

Why it Works

Surfing the wave is next-level-work in relation to Imposter Syndrome. Not only does it get you out of the immediate spiral of “not enough”, but you can extend it to every area of your life.

Want a new career but you’re stuck?

  • I’m too old.
  • I’ve invested too much time in this career/industry.
  • I want more money but don’t know how to get it.

Surf the wave.

Identify the (negative) emotion you’re feeling. Now picture yourself riding the wave. The wave will go up and then down. You know that the length of time spent surfing is finite. So too is your emotion.

Eventually, you can apply this to positive emotions as well, although most of us don’t want to give those up too quickly. And yet, positive emotions are also finite. They’re meant to be experienced as we surf the wave and then released.

Rethinking Imposter Syndrome

Imposter Syndrome isn’t real. It just feels real.

There’s an important distinction here. When you believe you are an Imposter, you feel it. When you feel it and cannot detach from the negative emotion around it, you act it.

Your thoughts create your beliefs which inform your actions.

Moving forward, practise the best solution to Imposter Syndrome.

Ride the wave.

You have to be open minded in order to grow. The coaching that Laura gave me opened my eyes to what and how I was doing things and allowed me to see the bigger picture. I am not done yet but I already see the changes in my everyday life.

MM

I think coaching is a great way to help you clear your mind when you get stuck with overwhelming situations or when stepping into changes in your life.

MO

Coaching is life changing. It pushes you outside your comfort zone and challenges your perspectives.  It is highly motivating and the exercises and techniques used are both fun and informative.  I think the main benefits of coaching are to see yourself, others and the world more clearly.  I think coaching is valuable to anyone regardless of where you are in your life or career.

LE

I honestly never thought I’d need a coach. I thought coaching was for CEOs and industry VIPs. I didn’t think it was for the “little guys” (i.e. me). Now, I’m of the belief that everyone – yes, EVERYONE – needs a coach. Coaching has really benefitted me and I’m so grateful to have had that time with Laura. It’s changed my life!

VB

Laura is very patient. She took the time to understand what was causing me to be stuck where I am today and help me build a better vision so I can continue to grow.

MM

I think Laura’s coaching was what I had been waiting for. Laura was so approachable, kind, and open. Her willingness to help and support made a difference for me. I found in her coaching new strategies, ideas, and perspectives that I could incorporate into my goals and objectives that I didn’t see before.

MO

Laura is an incredibly intuitive, positive and caring coach. Her techniques helped me recognize both my strengths and areas I might want to explore as I embark on the next chapter of my career. The exercises she employed were instrumental in providing self perspective and challenging my frames of reference.

LE

Laura is a natural coach. Her probing and compassionate questions helped me learn about myself: my value system, interests, goals and strengths.

LM

Coaching sessions with Laura gave me new perspectives on how to process specific feelings and situations in life.  She showed me how to sit with my emotions, acknowledge them, and then use visualization strategies to move through them.  I now feel more confident and in control of how I choose to walk through life.

CP

From the beginning, Laura put me at ease, creating a safe, open space for me to talk and share freely without fear of judgement. I loved the variety of approaches she used depending on the topic we were working on and it was fun being able to try out things I wouldn’t have considered before! With Laura’s coaching, I substantially grew my confidence in the workplace, overcame fears, dealt with issues I’d been carrying around for many years and, most importantly, learned to value myself and define a path forward into the future.

AG

Laura’s coaching was a breath of fresh air and EXACTLY what I needed at that point of my life. I didn’t realize how impactful coaching was going to be, but by the end of the sessions together, I left feeling refreshed, inspired and genuinely curious about what my future held for me. Because of Laura and her coaching, I believe I became a better person – someone who is more open-minded, someone with a clearer focus, and someone who is willing to explore opportunities and possibilities far more than I ever did before.

VB

I engaged Laura for coaching as I took on an expanded role leading an asset management company in Canada. As a female, I knew I would be a role model and had high expectations of myself. I was feeling overwhelmed and anxious.

In our first few coaching sessions we worked through exercises that allowed me to reflect on my purpose, leadership style and what mattered most to me. I continue to be grounded by the clarity I achieve in my coaching sessions – allowing me to be resilient and confident when challenges came my way.

OS