Why Resistance Isn’t the Enemy - It’s the Invitation

Career Focus: Exploration
01 October 2025

Why Resistance Isn’t the Enemy – It’s the Invitation

Resistance takes many forms.

Last night we had book club where we discussed our journal-writing experience with the Book of Alchemy, which I shared with you earlier this summer. It consists of 100 writers telling short stories followed by a journal prompt. To sum up, many struggled with journal writing.

Resistance.

Last week I spoke at a women’s conference on the topic of leadership and communication in male-dominated fields. As I guided the audience through a visualization, most settled in and closed their eyes but a few bobbed their heads, looking around to see if they were the only ones who kept their eyes open.

Resistance.

Recently, I felt a tug of dissonance as I was reading a book. What was that about?

Resistance.

Comfort Zones

Resistance comes from discomfort. By definition, humans prefer to live in the comfort zone. Within my comfort zone, I know what to expect and plan accordingly. Except … it’s hard to grow when I’m in the comfort zone. The zone has perimeters I don’t want to cross so I stay safe and even keeled.

The other side of the comfort zone is unknown. It may be good, it may be bad. The truth is, I don’t know what’s there. And humans don’t like uncertainty, as I read recently in a terrific book called The Next Conversation by Jefferson Fisher.

So I stay safe, and small, and don’t venture out. I may not feel entirely happy but I can still feel successful within my comfort zone. For many, that’s enough. If I can ignore the nudge that whispers, “There’s more for you out there,” I can live in my comfort zone.

There are times when it’s good to be in the comfort zone, like when I’ve climbed a mountain and need to rest. In the rhythm of life, I can’t always be climbing. I need refueling, to gather myself for the next challenge.

Moving Forward

The trick is knowing when to venture forth. Ask yourself,

→ Am I playing it safe or do I need to regroup?

Then, tap into how you feel.

Do I feel good right now in my comfort zone? If the answer is yes, you will not be feeling resistance. Rest awhile. Regroup.

Do I feel any negative emotions – fear, overwhelm, blame, anger, frustration, and so on – in my comfort zone? If the answer is yes, you will likely be feeling resistance.

The Tools

Stepping outside your comfort zone will involve discomfort, even pain at times. When that happens, most return to the original point, that is, the comfort zone. Growth starts, faces resistance, and turns back. Recognize that this is normal and not to be judged.

What’s more helpful is sharing what lies past the pain point, which is your goal. Call it the dream or vision, it’s what pulls you through the pain to get you to the other side.

Phil Stutz calls it The Tools. Below is Stutz’s visual of the process I described.

Most people see resistance as a sign to stop. Alternatively, they see it as necessary to push through to get to the other side.

Which feels better, pushing or pulling?

Pulling of course.

That’s what The Tools does for you. It lets you see that resistance is less about fighting and more about igniting.

I use The Tools regularly in my work as a coach and in leadership development. It normalizes the experience of resistance and doesn’t allow it to keep you from growing.

Riding the River

Navigating resistance is like riding the river. Resistance happens when I stop going with the flow – when I grab a branch or rock or when I stand up in the water. Instead, let yourself move with and through the water, trusting that you’ll get where you need to go. Click here for my River Visualization to get you started.

Use resistance to define what you want – your goal – instead of maintaining what you have.

You have to be open minded in order to grow. The coaching that Laura gave me opened my eyes to what and how I was doing things and allowed me to see the bigger picture. I am not done yet but I already see the changes in my everyday life.
MM

I think coaching is a great way to help you clear your mind when you get stuck with overwhelming situations or when stepping into changes in your life.
MO

Coaching is life changing. It pushes you outside your comfort zone and challenges your perspectives. It is highly motivating and the exercises and techniques used are both fun and informative. I think the main benefits of coaching are to see yourself, others and the world more clearly. I think coaching is valuable to anyone regardless of where you are in your life or career.
LE

I honestly never thought I’d need a coach. I thought coaching was for CEOs and industry VIPs. I didn’t think it was for the “little guys” (i.e. me). Now, I’m of the belief that everyone – yes, EVERYONE – needs a coach. Coaching has really benefitted me and I’m so grateful to have had that time with Laura. It’s changed my life!
VB

Laura is very patient. She took the time to understand what was causing me to be stuck where I am today and help me build a better vision so I can continue to grow.
MM

I think Laura’s coaching was what I had been waiting for. Laura was so approachable, kind, and open. Her willingness to help and support made a difference for me. I found in her coaching new strategies, ideas, and perspectives that I could incorporate into my goals and objectives that I didn’t see before.
MO

Laura is an incredibly intuitive, positive and caring coach. Her techniques helped me recognize both my strengths and areas I might want to explore as I embark on the next chapter of my career. The exercises she employed were instrumental in providing self perspective and challenging my frames of reference.
LE

Laura is a natural coach. Her probing and compassionate questions helped me learn about myself: my value system, interests, goals and strengths.
LM

Coaching sessions with Laura gave me new perspectives on how to process specific feelings and situations in life. She showed me how to sit with my emotions, acknowledge them, and then use visualization strategies to move through them. I now feel more confident and in control of how I choose to walk through life.
CP

From the beginning, Laura put me at ease, creating a safe, open space for me to talk and share freely without fear of judgement. I loved the variety of approaches she used depending on the topic we were working on and it was fun being able to try out things I wouldn’t have considered before! With Laura’s coaching, I substantially grew my confidence in the workplace, overcame fears, dealt with issues I’d been carrying around for many years and, most importantly, learned to value myself and define a path forward into the future.
AG

Laura’s coaching was a breath of fresh air and EXACTLY what I needed at that point of my life. I didn’t realize how impactful coaching was going to be, but by the end of the sessions together, I left feeling refreshed, inspired and genuinely curious about what my future held for me. Because of Laura and her coaching, I believe I became a better person – someone who is more open-minded, someone with a clearer focus, and someone who is willing to explore opportunities and possibilities far more than I ever did before.
VB

I engaged Laura for coaching as I took on an expanded role leading an asset management company in Canada. As a female, I knew I would be a role model and had high expectations of myself. I was feeling overwhelmed and anxious.

In our first few coaching sessions we worked through exercises that allowed me to reflect on my purpose, leadership style and what mattered most to me. I continue to be grounded by the clarity I achieve in my coaching sessions – allowing me to be resilient and confident when challenges came my way.
OS