I never liked the fairy tale The Princess and the Pea. The pea supposedly proved she was a princess because she couldn’t sleep from the discomfort of it under twenty mattresses.
My mistake was focusing exclusively on the princess. What I missed was the pea itself, specifically, what the pea represents: change and growth.
Growing Peas
“Peas climb using pea shoots called tendrils, which they wrap around just about anything they come into contact with.” 1
Picture a pea growing, its tendrils enveloping items in its surroundings – anything stable, really, that allows it to climb higher and welcome more sunlight.
Now imagine yourself as that pea.
If you want to grow, you need solid support in your environment too, something you can wrap around. Your reinforcement may come in the form of a person, a comfy chair, a spot in nature, or a philosophy or point of view.
Without support, though, you can’t produce more peas. Growth will slow down and eventually it will still, no matter how much water and sunlight you give it.
🫛 You need support to grow.
The Princess’s Discomfort
The Princess and the Pea uncovers a truth. Just as the princess remains unable to sleep due to the discomfort of the pea, so too do you need to feel discomfort in order to change. Otherwise, it’s easy to stay comfortable. Why change if you don’t feel compelled to alter your circumstances?
In fact, you need to feel uncomfortable. Think of discomfort as the princess’s gift to you. Your discomfort creates a need you want to fill which drives the (often new) behaviours necessary to experience comfort again. In that space between discomfort and comfort, that’s where you grow.
🫛 The tendrils of change and growth are intertwined.
Pea Shoot Tendrils
When you want something you don’t have, you feel discomfort.
I used to think wanting more was a sign of selfishness or lack of gratitude. Not anymore. Now I recognize it for what it is – the pea creating pea shoots that will help me grow.
2024 began at a crossroads for me. You could call it my pea. My tendrils were all over the place, growing upward, yes, but haphazardly, grabbing onto whatever support, weak or otherwise, they could find.
So I made some snips. Now I have a main pea plant – coaching – and an offshoot – leadership development. That’s it.
My need was to focus and my behaviour was to simplify. Discomfort pushed me out of my “comfort zone” to effect change.
🫛Discomfort is inherent to process of changing.
Emblem of Change
Fresh peas abound at this time of year. I bought a few pints at the local market this morning so I could enjoy opening the pods along the seam and popping out the peas, eating them one by one and counting how many are in each pod.
As you open the seam of your pea pod called Growth, may you gleefully discover all your peas lined up for you. My wish for you is that you experience one pea’s worth of change, and then another, and then another.
Remind yourself that change happens from within first before it can be seen without. For example, finding new perspectives on a topic in which you previously felt stuck is one pea. The next pea may be choosing the right perspective to adopt now. The third may be brainstorming what you want to do and how you want to be in order to make it happen. And so on.
Change and growth. Two peas in a pod. Thank you, Princess.
Header Photo by Rachael Gorjestani on Unsplash